Some people say my jokes are "cheesy." Some people say Christopher R. Mihm's movies are "cheesy." Well, that is going to be my important moment in science this month. I'll show you no one is cheesier than Dr. Bob Tesla but there is something cheesier! This month, Kraft's Velveeta was invented!

In the early 1900s, the Monroe Cheese Company had problems with broken cheese wheels and tasked Emil Frey to figure out some way to salvage them. In 1918, he found that by re-adding the whey with other ingredients, he was able to make a smooth, easily melted product. Because its texture was so velvety, he named it Velveeta! In 1927, Kraft Foods bought the Velveeta Company and, on June 2nd, 1928, Kraft's Velveeta was born! It was sealed in tin foil and packaged in a wooden box for easy sale. Believe it or not, it was advertised as a nutritious health food! Velveeta became the first cheese product to gain the American Medical Association's seal of approval in 1931.

In the 1950s, Kraft brought out pre-sliced American cheese which competed with Velveeta until they shifted the marketing for it. Instead of trying to get people to slice Velveeta for their sandwiches, they promoted it as a cheese sauce or dip! Brilliant!

While it was originally made from real cheese (if you were alive in the '80s, you might remember the jingle used to say "Colby, Swiss and Cheddar, blended all together!"), it's now made a bit more like something in my lab. They use whey protein concentrate and milk protein concentrate mixed with milk, fat and preservatives and, after the FDA stepped in, it can no longer be called "cheese." It might be a lab creation now, but that just makes it SCIENCE you can eat! Just don't eat a lot of it. After all, that AMA seal of approval was back when doctors endorsed cigarettes on television!

On Top of Old Smokey (1953)
Directed by George Archainbaud
Starring Gene Autry, Smiley Burnette, and Gail Davis

Singing cowboy Gene Autry rolls into town with "his Texas Rangers," which is the name of his back-up band. Unfortunately, something foul's takin' place out at Jen Larrabie's toll road. Seems the eye doctor and a gambler from the next town over aren't too keen on havin' to pay tolls, so they've rustled up a group of ne'er-do-wells to try and shut down the tollbooth owner's toll-takin' business...or could it be that the toll road is just a distraction from what the evil ophthalmologist (!?) is REALLY after? Gene and his gang are mistaken for real Texas rangers, get mixed up in the hullabaloo, and have to take charge to stop the bad guys from wreakin' havoc. Only good-guy Gene Autry and his band of fake Rangers can find out the truth before it's too late! This movie is one of Gene Autry's later pictures, and he seems to be mostly phoning it in. Granted, that may just be how well he can act. Regardless, the film in not particularly good, but it IS so bad that it becomes quite entertaining! I can't fully recommend it, but if you're at all interested in watching a random Gene Autry movie (refer to this month's episode of Monstrous Musings with Christopher R. Mihm to understand why this film is being reviewed at all), check it out!